When did St Patrick get a sex change?

Wet, and with an unreasonably angry stomach, I arrived at the lab this morning and sat at my computer. As I finished my coffee I read through my emails. Briefly scanning the Lab news email, I stumbled with weary horror across the line:

Join the MFC, Buddy's Cafe for tribute to 'St. Patty's Day'

That's it. It happens every year; I can't take it anymore. As every reasonable English speaking person knows, the abbreviation for Patrick is Paddy, not Patty. Patty is feminine; the abbreviation for Patricia.

St Patricia, the patron saint of Naples, is said to have lived in Constantinople in the seventh century. Fleeing to avoid marriage, she gave her life to God and her posessions to the poor. Her feast day is 25th August.

I'm growing tired of this ignorance. Perhaps this lab, overwhelmed as it is with buraucracy and political correctness, would do well to get decide which saint they'd like to commemorate, and do so on the correct day. But that would make sense, so is vanishingly unlikely.

Things Behind the Sun

[Minor]
Please beware of them that stare:
They'll only smile to see you while
Your time away.
And once you've seen what they have been
To win the earth - just won't seem worth
Your night or your day.
Who'll hear what I say?

[Minor]
Look around, you find the ground
Is not so far from where you are.
But don't be too wise.
For down below they never grow;
They're always tired, and charms are hired
From out of their eyes.
Never surprise.

[Major]
Take your time and you'll be fine,
And say a prayer for people there
Who live on the floor.
And if you see what's meant to be
Don't name the day, or try to say
It happened before.

[Minor]
Don't be shy; you learn to fly
And see the sun when day is done.
If only you see
Just what you are. Beneath a star
That came to say, one rainy day
In autumn for free:
Yes, be what you'll be.

[Minor]
Please beware of them that stare:
They'll only smile to see you while
Your time away.
And once you've seen what they have been
To win the earth - just won't seem worth
Your night or your day.
Who'll hear what I say?

[Major]
Open up the broken cup;
Let goodly sin and sunshine in.
Yes that's today.
And open wide the hymns you hide -
You find reknown while people frown
At things that you say.
But say what you'll say

[Minor]
About the farmers and the fun.
And the things behind the sun.
And the people round your head,
Who say everything's been said.
And the movement in your brain
Sends you out into the rain.
[Major coda]

Nick Drake